Having the rug pulled out from under your feet is unnerving, disorientating and leaves you vulnerable. It makes you cross and angry. Your life changes, austerity measures kick in and suddenly your opportunities are limited. Self improvement, sensible, grown up decisions you have made to “get you thorough” limit and constrain life and happiness. You plod along and joy is in very short supply.
You employ tools and techniques to help you get by. Prioritise and re-prioritise, constantly count your blessings and remind yourself there are many far worse off than you. Still you don’t manage to live the life you want or get close to the life you had. Envy of others’ laissez-faire attitude niggles and burns. Life is clouded by constant worry. Nothing can be bought unless it is essential in its totality.
In work you live in fear of another lost job, a sacking and you waste your life away travelling to the job you have “cos it’s a job and there aren’t many out there”. In work (and sometimes in play) every day you try to do the right thing often with no thanks.
Miserable and frustrated you open the paper to see people’s lives in pieces. Shattered bodies and shattered homes the horror of a truly unimaginable existence. You “buck up” your ideas “get on with it”, then Monday morning comes around again and the cloud descends. None of it is life it is subsistence.