I shout and with a huge amount of effort (superhuman you could say) I manage not to hurl anything across the room.
Right, I look around with bloodshot eyes. Who’s next? I can tell you are all sitting there laughing at me waiting to have a go. I try a different tack and that fails to and I shout again.
You might be surprised to learn that it’s a pretty ordinary day in the household. Nothing special is going on. Just an average day in an average life.
Scowling round the room again, I take a deep breath and decide to approach the next one with caution. Perhaps if I sidle up, looking the other way I might take it by surprise and events will turn out the way I want them.
Grip tightly; take aim; focus and press; press again; hopefully press; gently press; press many times quickly
Round three lost a well. At this point, I realise that the world is not going to go my way and everything I attempt will end badly. It’s one of those days, does everyone get them?
We live in a gadget strewn world, where every little thing is supposed to make out lives better. We can’t do without it and if we don’t own it (if we believe the advertising) we are a sad a lonely person. It is strange I was not trying to do anything exceptional.
- Firstly I tried to make a phone call using a mobile telephone. No signal and then when the signal perked up an answer from someone who sounded as it they could only be sat inside a washing maching. At my end there was an echo of myself that Grand Canyon would be proud of.
- I then tried to send a text with the “magic writing” mode. Trouble is the magic writing writes in elvish and elvish is nonsense to all but elves.
- Lastly I attempted to turn the TV on with the remote control that has the power to switch all things electrical on and off at the wall switch; and switch the TV on as well. It’s like doing the okey kokey in treacle with a wasp chasing you. Lots of in, out, in, out, shake it all about, in slow motion and time delay. You get hot and bothered and finally stung.
My conclusion on many days, despite what they tell me about how marvellous gadgets and the latest fad are, is that I am undone by, and defeated by the little (and sometimes the big) blighters. Today as on many days I am beaten and bow to:
The Curse of the Inanimate Object
I am sure you will be delighted to know. When I came to write this, I chose pen and paper. The pen, a fine flash silvery one, with great comedic timing, started to run out of ink. I decided to use the trick of taking out the innards and rubbing them between my hands to warm the ink and make the pen work. CIO struck again. I could not get the pen back together to make a pen….